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Name: Maxwell
Location: evanston, Illinois, United States
Birthday: 6/20/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: anything and everything. that means, all about sports, all about music, all about makin a difference in the world, and chillin with my friends.
Expertise: expertise?
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/29/2003
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| October 22: Monday Night Football from Jacksonville, FL
I cannot wait. GO JAGS!!!
btw, I moved to facebook a month ago. It's nicer there. Goodnight.
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| Now that I've been in Evanston for 48 hours, I've discovered that I'll have to make a few adjustments to living at my new home.
Since I don't have my car I've got to walk everywhere. This means that:
1)When it rains (like all yesterday), or when it is cold (everyday...almost) I must be prepared. I can't just run 5 steps to my car, or 40 steps to the bus stop for sanctuary. I pretty much never used an umbrella in Gainesville, but ill need to get one here, or a raincoat...or both.
2) I have to go grocery shopping often and buy very little. I went the first night, and didnt get much at all (3 cartons of juice and two medium sized boxes of food), but the 10-minute walk home did a number on my arms. And on the bags...the holes stretched to nearly 4 times their original size. I thought they were gonna rip for sure. So, my mom laughed at me, called me silly (see post from a few days ago) and told me that i should of course just buy one or two things that I need, and I should do this often, maybe every day. Which leads to...
3) I can't transport large items. Still not entirely sure how I'll deal with this one on every front, but for starters, I intentionally bought a very light laptop and brought up my 4-track recorder instead of the 16-track studio.
4) I have to really plan my trips into the city carefully. It takes about 1 hour and 25 minutes to get to into the loop from my apartment by regular train, and when the express is running it's just under an hour. Needless to say, it's a hassle and I should plan my activities so I can keep multiple back-and-forth trips to a minimum. I also have to be aware of how long it takes to get places...I can't say I'll be somewhere at a certain time, then leave 5 minutes before, speed like crazy, and show up 5 minutes late.
5) I can't just go anywhere I want to after nightfall. Evanston is a cute, semi-quaint, moderately expensive town. It is also relatively safe. But it's still wise to avoid quite a few areas after it gets dark (around 7:30 right now). I used to tell girls at UF not to walk home at night...but this is a whole new ballgame. Especially Chicago. I've got to be careful in the city. I think I'll get a bike.
6) With car keys no longer in my right pocket, it only makes sense for me to keep my cell phone on the right side now leaving my set of keys and lanyard on the left side. But I'm not used to this yet, I still instinctively reach into my left pocket when I need to make a call or when I hear my phone ring. I'll get over this soon I'm sure.
Since I live in a big house with 8 other people:
7) I no longer have my own private bathroom. This means I have to be aware that I may not be able to shower, or relieve myself, whenever I want to. The primary concern would be showering in the morning before class, since I generally wake up with just enough time to shower, throw clothes on, and run to class a few minutes late. So I can't afford to have to wait for the shower if I don't plan ahead with the roommates.
8) I have to carry my toiletries back and forth. This is a nuisance.
9) I must walk down two flights of stairs to get to the kitchen. Since my M.O. is always to eat in my room, I'll have to bring that food back up two flights of stairs to eat, then take two flights back down to return to the scene of the crime for my second helping (theres always a second helping). Plus my landlord has rules about not leaving the kitchen while you cook...so somethings gotta give. I'll either change my ways, or stop eating at home.
10) No more loud music. I mean, I hardly ever listen to loud music anyway...but this definitely means I can't play anything (I actually didnt bring any amps or instruments up anyway, except for my acoustic guitar).
But even with all these changes, I'm loving it here. I'm so excited about this place, this city, that I don't mind at all.
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| I'm so sad and excited at the same time. I'm really gonna keep it short this time, so I'll let you figure out why I feel this way.
South Carolina, South Florida and Oregon pulled off huge wins/upsets on the road. Wooo...Football is back! Next week's Notre Dame - Michigan match up could be the game of the year in terms of futility. Whoever loses that one is in bad bad shape. Worse shape than the winner. Man football season is finally here! Florida State and Florida both held serve in games they were supposed to win. And the Jaguars start their '07 campaign tomorrow...in what I optimistically believe is a season with Super Bowl potential. Yes, football season is finally here!
I scrambled, and although I didn't really clean up my room and, well all my crap that has spilled into the guest room and the upstairs room, I did manage to contain the mess, with hopes that one day (winter break?) i may finally get my act together. I'm gonna miss this house. The weather outside was absolutely gorgeous today. As it turns out, I drove my car for the last time last night when I went to shoot some hoops. I'm gonna miss that thing as well. When I'm done typing this, I've still gotta go back to the garage to clean out my car. That just may end up being the saddest moment of this whole week.
My landlord, Jim, sent me my keys the other day. I just took off all the old keys from my lanyard and replaced them with my new set of keys. That may be the second saddest moment.
I packed lots of random clothing...I'm leaving a lot of stuff here in Jax...it'll be interesting to see what I have and don't have over the next two months. I know I'll be fine, but it's just strange cause typically when I travel I am very careful about choosing the attire that I pack. The moral of this story: Holy Green Bananas!! I'm leaving tomorrow morning! @1!frgn%$...
Yeah, so that's why I'm so sad and excited at the same time. But you knew that already. What's wrong with you?
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| My parents took me to some sports bar/pool hall for dinner today. After
a delicious steak and crab dinner, and in the midst of this atmosphere,
my mother asked me an interesting question. She said, "are you still
very good at pool?" Now I assume that for most people, mother's words
are generally encouraging. Moms think their kids are the smartest, the
most talented, the most athletic, the most beautiful/handsome...they
wonder how anyone could possibly not love their child?
Well, I'm absolutely certain that my mom loves me, that she fully
supports me and believes in me when it comes to music, but typically
speaking, my mom has always been rather cynical and "realistic" with
me. She would never hesitate to make fun of me if I had a bad haircut,
she'd laugh whenever I'd share my athletic accomplishments with her
(she always brushed them aside, assuming that as an asian kid, I had no
business being any good at sports) and to this day she incessantly
reminds me that I'm fat and need to lose weight. So it really surprised
me when my mom had this genuine recollection of me as a very good pool
player. I was happy she actually accepted that I might have been good
at some things outside of school and music. (For the record, I was
pretty good but never that amazing...at my very best I still struggled
to hold my own against serious tournament
players. Nevertheless, many years ago I did make a decent amount of
money playing).
As I got up and headed to the bathroom, I told my mom that I'm not any
good anymore. But while relieving myself at the urinal, my mom's
question/comment sent me on a quick trip down memory lane. Yes, there
was a time when I was pretty serious at pool. I played pretty
regularly, always surrounded myself with good competition, pushed hard
for my parents to buy me a pool table (that didnt happen), and (during
those years) I'd get to show off my skills wherever I went...for the
ladies. It was a fun ride, and as I mentioned I even made a little
money along the way. Zipped up, hands washed, and no paper towels in
sight, I searched for a way to dry my hands and thought about all the
other activities that I've been really into over the years. And then it
struck me: isn't it amazing how much we do during the first 18 years of
our lives? I mean, no matter who you are, what you were into, whether
you had lots of friends or just a few, whether you had to work or if
your parents gave you everything on a silver platter, I'm sure that if
you look back, you'll find a childhood full of rich memories that
you'll have forever. How did we manage this? It seems that at my age
these days, theres no time for anything, whether youre in school or
working. How did we ever do so much as kids? How did I ever have so
many hobbies...obsessions rather?
Off the top of my head, I remember wasting hours and hours of my time
collecting, playing, winning and losing Pogs. Remember that? Man, so
much time and money invested in that. Then there was Magic: The
Gathering. I did that very seriously for about four years. And then
there was poker. (I was into poker long before it gained mainstream
popularity) And whenever we played, my friends and I would spend an
entire evening playing 4 or 5 hours of poker. That definitely took
dedication and time. And chess...I hit the whole tournament scene, read
the books, watched "Searching for Bobby Fischer" 50 times, and also put
in another 200 hours to build up a respectable ranking on Yahoo Chess.
I still do love chess, and bought a new chess clock a couple years ago. What else? I was really into finding underground music and cutting-edge popular music...so I would spend lots of time searching the internet for new bands. I remember when I first really got into non-classical music, I'd spend hours and hours listening to one CD over and over, pretending to be the frontman and singing along with every single song. Oh, the days when I'd buy CDs and learn to love each and every song on the album. And then there's ping pong. Wow, there was a time when I would spend an entire day
each week playing with my table tennis crew. I think my friend Jonathan
and I played about 500 games against each other in less than one week
once. I sent my friend (ok, i didnt really send him there) Angelo to
China to buy me a top of the line custom paddle. Then there are the
other sports. My junior year of high school I played basketball almost
everyday. I had a strong and intense obsession. The tennis phase lasted
a bit longer and came a bit earlier in life. But it existed too. I
played for my country club's team, I participated in camps, competed in
USJTA tournaments, and then later for my high school. I mean, there was
a point in time that I took it pretty seriously. All the while I was
playing football. And of course, all the while I did read books and
magazines (ok, mostly magazines), I did play lots and lots of computer
games, I did watch plenty of mindless tv and movies, I became dominant
at a handful of TI-89 games, and yes...I played piano, violin and wrote
music. Somehow my parents took me traveling all over North America and
Asia.
It just baffles me. How was life so busy and yet so simple...how was it
so gratifying? Yet today I keep procrastinating and can't even clean my
room before I move to Chicago. Let's see if it happens tomorrow...it'll
be my last chance. If I could just channel the teenage Max. Oh, to be young again. | | |
| My name is Maxwell Lee and I am addicted...
to writing music.
This has never been a problem since, well, I began writing music in high school. Over the last 5 years, I've explained on many occasions that I have no desire to compose. It's much less about gratification and enjoyment as it is about needing an outlet to release my emotions. If I'm happy I share the joy, if I'm sad I express my anguish and on a couple occasions, when I'm angry...it shows as well. But writing music for fun? nahhh.
It wasn't always like this: in high school I wrote music for the sake of writing. It was new to me, the act of writing was enjoyable, and anything I composed was exciting because it was all fresh and original. Now I've pretty much done it all and the bitterness of failed musical endeavors has taken its toll. Until this summer. I'm not sure what it is, but I can't stop writing. Is it possible that I have so many mixed emotions that I have no choice but to express my feelings through song? In one word: yes.
I've been having a lot of trouble saying goodbye. My first sincere goodbyes in my entire life. I was born and raised in
Jacksonville. High school graduation was nothing...literally 25% of my
graduating class came with me to UF, including probably 80% of my good
friends. So for me, goodbye is not an easy task yet.
The "farewell tour," as I like to call my final trip through Florida the last two weeks, was absolutely amazing, absolutely memorable, and possibly, absolutely a mistake. I don't actually think it was, but as some people pointed out to me in Gainesville, it was a lot harder to say goodbye to me this time than if I had just left at the start of summer and never returned. Although I manned-up and didnt really show any sadness, I was completely drained and broken down as I left Gainesville one last time. In that one short week (or two) i spent endless hours with my two closest families: the piano/music crew and the chinese church group. On top of that, I managed to rekindle several old friendships that I am very happy to have maintained, and develop a couple new ones that I can only wish had begun years sooner. It all happened just in time for me to say goodbye.
To be perfectly honest, my last thoughts as I parted ways with different friends was how they would deal without me. I wasnt being cocky, I only wondered this because I realized how tough it would be for me and figured it would be likewise for them. I'm smart enough to realize, though, that while I will certainly stay in close contact with all of my best friends from Gainesville, and will probably see my other good friends again some day, everyone (and I mean everyone, no matter how much they cared about me) is moving on. Life will continue. The music crew is still going on strong and they will carry on without missing a beat (lame pun intended). Over the years I was there, our chinese group has had countless members head off to other parts of the country, and we all moved right along. As I said in an entry a month ago, time waits for no one, so I better move on. My friends are moving on. So I need to move on. And with the right mindset, it'll be easy. I mean, come on...I'm going to Chicago! I'm gonna be at a new school with tons of amazing people. And I'm gonna be busy as hell. Moving on should be a breeze...
except that I keep writing these stupid songs reminiscing about the past. I guess that's just who I am. I'm ridiculous. I'm emotional. I'm a masochist. I'm addicted...
to friendships. To undying love. To people. And to Gainesville. Goodbye one last time. I will miss you all even if you dont miss me. :P
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